http://www.craigcc.com/index.htmlCounseling NewsenBrianCopyright 2006 CMFCC2006-07-27T15:08:30-05:00 hourly 1 2000-01-01T12:00+00:00 Wed, 20 Jun 2007 14:29:32 -0500BrianMarital Counseling2006-07-27T15:08:30-05:00http://www.craigcc.com/page10/page10.html#unique-entry-id-5http://www.craigcc.com/page10/page10.html#unique-entry-id-5The US Bureau of the Census says 40%-50% of first time marriages will end in divorce (the number increases for remarriage). These are projected statistics that can be changed! With a renewed focus on marriage we can reduce this number.
I am personally convinced that unresolved conflict (over finances, children, sex, work, in laws, goals and roles) is the primary culprit. It's not so much that there is conflict, because it's inevitable, but it's how the conflict is managed. With ineffective communication and conflict resolution strategies couples find themselves frustrated and angry, which blocks them from getting the closeness and intimacy that they desire. The conflict or issue gets covered or hidden in the heat of the battle and then ends up unresolved. This unresolved conflict then emerges in the "little things." Something as benign as asking, "What time will dinner be ready?" becomes an explosive question because it may bring up unresolved conflict related to roles and work distribution at home.
Whenever we find ourselves stuck in this communication rut it becomes very difficult for couples to sort it out on their own because of their emotional involvement. This is why couples often seek an "impartial" third-party or counselor to help sort out some of the issues and equip them with new skills. It's helpful to have someone who is not so closely tied to the conflict to help navigate for a time. With new communication skills and some practice most couples are able to avoid divorce and actually add new life to their marriages! ]]>BrianBlog2006-07-10T09:03:59-05:00http://www.craigcc.com/page10/page10.html#unique-entry-id-4http://www.craigcc.com/page10/page10.html#unique-entry-id-4Diane Sollee writes that, "The number one predictor of divorce is the habitual avoidance of conflict.And what's sad is the reason we avoid conflict is because we believe it will cause divorce. 
It's like the cartoon where the couple explains to the marriage counselor, 'We never talk anymore. We figured out that's when we have all our fights.' In the beginning, we avoid conflict because we are so much in love and we believe that "being in love" is about agreeing. We're afraid that if we disagree - or fight - we'll ruin our marriage. Later, we avoid conflict because when we try to deal with our differences things get so out of hand and our fights so destructive and upsetting that we simply shut down. After a few bad blow-ups we become determined to avoid conflict at any cost.
Successful couples are those who know how to discuss their differences 
in ways that actually strengthen their relationship and improve intimacy.

Successful couples don't let their disagreements contaminate the rest of the relationship. 
While it's true that we don't get married to handle conflict, if a couple doesn't 
know how - or learn how - to fight or disagree successfully, they won't be able to 
do all the other things they got married to do. Or, put another way, it's hard to take her out to the ball game if you're not speaking. 
Often couples are so determined to avoid disagreeing they quit speaking."]]>BrianBlog2006-06-28T10:54:14-05:00http://www.craigcc.com/page10/page10.html#unique-entry-id-3http://www.craigcc.com/page10/page10.html#unique-entry-id-3California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists says that of the 90% of Americans that marry nearly half will end in divorce! A staggering number of those could be avoided with proper premarital counseling. The article covers a few reasons for seeking premarital counseling, as if the statistics are not enough!]]>BrianMarital Counseling2006-06-28T10:09:09-05:00http://www.craigcc.com/page10/page10.html#unique-entry-id-2http://www.craigcc.com/page10/page10.html#unique-entry-id-2The Washington Post's Sandra Goodman writes, "Unhappy couples and those who divorce tend to resort to what John Gottman, a Seattle psychologist and one of the pioneers of the study of marital behavior, calls "the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse": criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. They get stuck in negative, destructive patterns, have fewer positive interactions than happy couples and are unable to resolve problems." These four factors can be harmful to promoting the type of marriage you desire.]]>BrianCMFCC2006-06-28T08:50:48-05:00http://www.craigcc.com/page10/page10.html#unique-entry-id-1http://www.craigcc.com/page10/page10.html#unique-entry-id-1Members Assistance Program & Employee Assistance Program is now active. We are partnering with churches and others organizations in order to provide quality counseling at affordable prices for participating partners. We offer marital, premarital, addiction and other services at discounted rates to our partners. If your organization or church is interested in getting additional information please contact CCS.]]>BrianPremarital Counseling2006-06-28T08:47:14-05:00http://www.craigcc.com/page10/page10.html#unique-entry-id-0http://www.craigcc.com/page10/page10.html#unique-entry-id-0Ken Camp of ABP News reports that some churches are requiring premarital counseling for their members. They hope to address conflict, communication and others issues.]]>